- Disclaimer: I think you all know these characters DON`T belong to
me. After all, if they did, we would see some major changes. But since
they don`t belong to me, I`m just borrowing them for a little while to
mess a bit with their heads. I`m not trying to make a profit of this, so
let`s all move on to the story, shall we?
Even Memories Fade
by Camilla Sandman
"Give me 6 miligrams of Thoraczid now!!"
"Doctor...!"
"We are doing everything we can, Captain."
"Chakotay, can you hear me? Chakotay...."
Drifting away. Their voices was getting weaker. What were they talking about? It didn`t matter. His head was getting heavy, swimming, his eyesight blurry.
"Don`t do this to me, Chakotay!"
"Do what?" he managed to think dimly before closing his eyes.
"Think of me, Chakotay, think of me!"
Kathryn. Think of Kathryn. It was her voice, wasn`t it? Her sweet, sweet voice.
Drifting, drifting...
***************
"Chakotay, could you meet me in my quaters after our shift has ended?"
He looked surprised at her. It wasn`t the invetation itself that surprised him, it was the hesitent tone she used. Kathryn Janeway was almost never hesitent.
"Sure... Kathryn," he added after a brief moment of silence.
The rest of the shift was duty as normal except for a few strange looks she gave him. And the feeling of antipiation in the air. It laid heavy, like a fog surronding everyone. Did the rest of the crew notice? They had to. Even Tuvok looked a bit caught off balance. The hours passed slowly, like snails running the marathon.
And so it came.
When he rang her doorbell, he could almost feel the changes in the air. Something was about to happen. And it wasn`t just him. The whole ship was holding its breath.
She answered at once, her voice sounding almost like a kids, happy, exiteted. It reminded him of New Earth, a fond, but distant memory. He could feel something in himself starting to surface. The feeling of complete happiness. The feeling of... New Earth? And her dress almost knocked his breath out.
He had no idea she owned anything like that.
A red dress leaving abseloutly nothing to the imagination.
"Wow," was all he managed to get out.
So they stood there like that for a while, just taking in the sight of one another. He felt like a teenager all over again.
"Boy, you have it hard," he thought to himself before clearing his throat. It seemed to break the spell, she straightned herself an invited him in.
"So..." he started, but wasn`t sure how to proceed.
"I have food," she offered, but he hastily shook his head.
"It can wait." He paused slightly, looking for the right words.
"Why am I here?" He wanted to kick himself as soon the words got out of his mouth. That was NOT what he intended to say at all.
She sat down, a sad look on her face. Something stabbed him in his heart seeing her like that because of something she said.
"I had to ruin it all."
It wasn`t before he saw he expression he realized he had said it aloud.
She smiled.
"You haven`t Chakotay," her voice had won back the confident, sure sound he was so used to.
Her smile was wonderful. Her lips seemed so full and all he could think og what it would like to kiss them. He closed his eyes briefly, almost feeling the softness of them, the gentle way they lingered on his. Oh, it felt so real. It was real.
He opened his eyes in disbelief.
Kathryn Janeway was in his arms, her lips on his, a teasing look on her face.
"Kathryn..."
She pulled back a bit, his body aching for the feeling of her again.
"Husssssssssshhhhhhhhh..." she whispered softly.
"Tomorrow we will talk. Tonight I had other things in mind."
Her eyes were sparking with a fire he had never seen before. Like the light of thousand stars gathered in one.
Without another word he pulled her to him. She didn`t resist, her eyes locked in his, telling him all he needed to know.
The story of a love. A patient love that had waited for years. A respectfull love.
And allconsuming.
They made love slowly, exploring each other throughfully, not rushing, saving every moment. Like two souls finally found each other seeking comfort in one another. He touched every part of her, as she did with his. And never letting go off each others eyes. Small moans as he started kissing her legs and moving upwards. Quiet cries as his climax matched hers.
Finally they fell asleep, their bodies tangeled in each other. And the feeling of change laid heacy in the air as never before.
They could never go back.
He woke early, her naked body close to him. She was sleeping like a baby, peacefull, her breath against his one arm.
He would have given anything to lie like that forever, close to her while she slept. At that moment, he was happy.
But the image blurred.
****************
"We`re losing him!"
"No, no, Chakotay..."
The feeling of drift got stronger, the voices was unfamiliar. He was leaving...
Desperatly, he tried to hold on to the picture, see her face, hear her breath, feel her body close to his, the feeling of happiness, but it slipped away. In the end, he realized, there is nothing. Even memories fade.
"CHAKOTAY!"
************
Part Two
Sickbay. What was she doing in sickbay? It didn`t matter. Nothing mattered except the fact that he was gone. She had finally convinced herself to give them a chance...
Then he was ripped from her.
One night. That was all she had gotten. One lousy night. Sure, it had been fantastic, a dream come true, but it was supposed to been a start, not an end.
"Captain!!"
The Doctor? It was the Doctor, wasn`t it?
"Kathryn..."
The sweetest voice in the world. Chakotay. It was Chakotay.
She turned.
He was standing there, as gorgeous as ever. Not like the last she had seen of him, feversick, babbling. Him. Well, healthy, smiling.
"Chakotay!"
She couldn`t remember crossing the space between them, but there she was, in those strong arms she thought she would never feel again.
"Chakotay, Chakotay, Chakotay..."
She whispered his name over and over again, as if it was a magic formula that would make everything allright again.
He pulled back a bit, whiped away tears she didn`t know where there.
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhh..." he said gently, stroking her cheek.
"We never got to talk," she finally whispered.
"We can now. We have all the time in the world. All of eternity."
"Captain!!!"
The Doctor`s voice again. But it sounded like it was war away, and when she looked up, he wasn`t there. And it didn`t matter. All that mattered was here, in her arms.
"I love you."
He smiled at her words, pulling her closer again.
"I know. I have know for a long time. As you know I love you."
His lips on her, shooting her pain. They could have stood like that for eternity, or just a second. She had no grasp of time. All she felt was happiness, and a feeling of home. Of rest. For once she truely knew where she belonged, where she would always belong.
"I`m sorry I wasted so much time," she whispered, moving her lips up to his ear.
"It doesn`t matter. Not here," she could here his reply softly in her hair.
He pulled back again, this time seriously.
"You have to decide now. If you want to be with me, it will be forever. If not, you must go back now."
For a second she wavered.
"CAPTAIN!!!"
Kim, or was it Paris? They did not matter. For once she had to follow her heart.
She took Chakotay`s hand, kissing it tenderly.
"I am yours, Chakotay. Heart and soul."
His smile could light up a thousand stars. He grapped hold of her, lifting her up in his arms to kiss her. A beginning.
"Then let`s go."
"Captain???!!!!??"
"I`m sorry, Lietuenant. We lost her."
An end.
***********
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